Thursday, June 7, 2012

Believe


I've had a lot of reflection over the past few weeks.  Lots of emotions, like a roller coaster ride with massive highs and lows.  When you've dedicated your life to something you love and it's taken from you, even temporarily, it's such a hard thing to deal with.

I'm a very positive person.  I feel that I will always come out on top.  At one point in my life I compared my aura to a saying 'Walks through shit, smells like roses'.  For some reason no matter what, I was always able to overcome any obstacle and come out smelling of roses.  This injury takes a whole new meaning to the term 'Walks through shit'.  I have never been seriously injured.  Even when I was hurt or took a wrong turn, it was easily overcome or navigated back to the right direction with a quickness.  Training is my life and I am going on 3 weeks of nothing.  No running, no grappling, no Muay Thai, no nothing....   & quite frankly, it's a bit depressing at times.  I just want so badly to succeed.

I've struggled recently with faith.  Faith in God.  I don't know who's right as far as religion goes, but I do know one thing, I do have a god.  I've had a personal relationship with him and no matter what was going on, no matter how alone, how lonely, I could close myself out and speak to him and feel comfortable that everything would work out for the best.  I don't know when it started but I lost that relationship.  I've always thanked the lord for the opportunity and ability he has blessed me with, and never taken it for granted....   but still I lost touch.

Tonight I walked outside my apartment and laid in the grass on the side of the hill for quite some time.  I stared at the sky and gazed at the stars. Something I've always loved to do ever since I was a little boy.  A million thoughts were running through my head.  Thoughts of sorrow, thoughts of wonder, thoughts of  ambition, and even some thoughts of self pity.  But as I lay back and assessed where I am and who I am, the only resounding thought that seemed to clearly make sense was the thought of belief.  Looking into the sky in this massive world I feel like came back to my senses a little bit.  We are not here forever, and we are not guaranteed anything.  So for the first time in a long time, I closed my eyes and spoke with the lord 1 on 1.  I won't reveal our conversation, but I can say it felt right.  I felt like I knew he was listening to me and even with all the negative thoughts mixed in, the resounding strength of positivity came over my body.  Believe.  It's as simple as that.  You must believe.  I may not be able to run, or grapple or kickbox right now, but I will be able to again.  I believe that.  I believe I will overcome this and fulfill my destiny that has eluded me recently.  There are things I can do still.Walking is not one I do well, but it all starts with steps.  Even the smallest of ones.

There is a verse I read on the back of a young man's shirt at the Houston rodeo this year.  Mark 9:23 All things are possible to him who believes.  This has stuck with me since the moment I read it.  I have no doubt in my mind that this sentence and positive affirmation will lead me back to glory.  Not only belief in myself, but belief in the goodness of god and the goodness of a world in which you do good things.  To never forget this I've decided to get it tattooed on my body.  I've already started my journey back, but it will get worse before it get's better.  I'll have surgery next week and the road back starts then, at the bottom of the mountain.  It's going to be a steep climb but I'll make it all the way to the top.  Through hard work and dedication.  Through the love of the people around me that help me and motivate me to be a great person.  Through sheer determination, but most importantly through belief.  I believe I will do it, and I believe I am not alone, no matter how alone I am because I can always speak to god.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

It's been a long time since I blogged.  I've recently gone through a career changing experience. I tore my ACL in the middle of a title fight I was completely dominating and in control of.  Not only that, but it was on my birthday.  My birthday!!!  Sometimes I wonder why bad things happen to good people, but I've come to the conclusion that it happens to make you better.  You look to the sky and ask why, but there's no answer.  You can't ask why, just keep moving forward to improve your position.  Everything in life is an experience, and it's not what it is, it's how you handle it.  Positivity is the only way.  My heart hurts badly.  I feel I was done wrong, especially after the No Contest was overturned by the Colorado Athletic Commission to a TKO loss.  But you won't look at me without a smile, that's for dame sure... take a look at my knee, I'm still smiling.

I ain't trippin at all..  my  best friend has been through this surgery and is recovering from his second shoulder surgery as I type.  I gain a lot of strength from his strength.  God puts people in your life for a reason.  There is nothing you can't overcome, I know this.  My surgeon is the best Texas has to offer.  He's told me my knee will be better than it was before the injury.  You best believe I'll do everything possible to make sure that happens.  Even though my ACL was obliterated. Mind over matter.
And I ain't too proud to tell you that I cry sometime about it.  Boy that shit hurt, but ain't nobody perfect, but still I can make it work.  6 months from now you're gonna see Adam Schindler back in the cage & I can guarantee you that.  Better than ever and ready to prove all haters wrong.

I never believed in haters, but recently realized I actually had some.(like anyone could not like me??  I know)  There will always be someone who doesn't want to see you succeed, but just dig down deep and find that inner strength to push through.  If MMA has taught me anything, it's that you have to watch your back.  If you're as lucky as me, you will have that handful of people you can trust no matter what.

So what I can tell to anyone is to trust your heart.  Fight as hard as  you possibly can(no matter what you're doing).  Give it everything.  So even if you fall short, there's nothing you can't hold your head high about.  You are your own best ally, your mind.  Stay strong and you can do anything, ANYTHING!! Look at me, I came from nothing in a small town in WV and I'm making waves.....  I'll continue to make waves till the day I die.  Be extraordinary!!  You can be, I promise.  I'll see you in 6 months on HDNet baby.  Better watch out for Schindiggity!!




Wednesday, February 15, 2012

As I lay here once again in my bed late at night, I feel a fire burning deep within my soul.  A fire that does not sit easy with my mind, or with my heart.  I've just come off one of the most impressive wins of my career against a tough opponent from Japan and I feel I get no respect.  Maybe I haven't earned it.  I watched the UFC on Fuel TV tonight and I can't help but feel enraged that I am not there.  I can only blame myself I suppose, I have had opportunity that I let slip through my fingers.  I went in to tough fights without a killers mentality, and I paid for it.  I am still paying for it.

As a fighter, and a perfectionist, I feel I must always have something to work toward.  I have been post fight less than 3 weeks(which isn't long), but I feel I need to keep moving forward.  I have nothing lined up 'next' as of right now and that makes me angry. Angry with myeslf, angry with MMA, angry with every person who I want to fight for and won't put me on.  I have something to prove.  I lost to Ronnie Mann in devastating fashion.  I then followed up with a stupid fight with Jeremy Spoon(one that I don't consider a loss) on 9 days notice, with a 24 lb weight cut, an open wound on my head and no sparring for 8 weeks.  Which makes that follow up L on the record look even worse.  To top it off, after my big win against the Japanese, Bellator doesn't want me and I opted to be released.  A decision that I'm fine with, but can't wait to make them regret. 

I know I will.  I have put too much in, am too dedicated, and am too god damn talented not to be fighting at the elite stage.  My one weakness is being worked on every single day and I really feel vast improvements from week to week.  That being said, I have to be patient.  I no longer 'need the money' thanks to my GI Bill and ongoing education. So bad fights are not even an option.  I just have to trust in my path and keep my nose to the grind.  Stay positive even through the disappointments and when the opportunity presents itself, I'll take it, and tko that hoe.

On a much more positive note, I WON BY 1ST RD TKO FOR TEAM USA!!!!!  WOOHOO!!   My fight was amazing. I'm very satisfied with everything that went into my preparation, the process and the outcome of the G1 event.  If ever you could fight the 'perfect fight', I may have just done that on January 28th.  I didn't get hit and I dished out quite a beating, flawlessly.  I went in to the fight very confident in my new Thai Boxing skill set and toolbox.  I was aggressive on our feet and landed a couple of nice hard leg kicks before I caught a return kick and took him to the mat.  He gave me his back instantly and I sunk my hooks and the rest is history.

I was very proud of myself, and my performance.  That being said, I was a different fighter than my previous two fights.  Not only in skill set, but in mind state.  I was pissed off.  Plain and simple and I went in there to fight.  Not as a sport, but to kick his fucking ass.  I can't believe I ever stopped looking at it that way.  I feel like I wasn't a killer in my mentality in my 2 previous fights.  Oh no my friend, never again.  I have awakened the demon in myself.  I have something to prove and I have to fight like I have something to prove every single time I step foot in that cage. 

On a more personal note, I love my life right now.  School is going great and I feel so happy and blessed to have the opportunity to not only receive free education, but get paid for it while I attend.  Thanks Uncle Sam ;).  Speaking of Uncle's, I'm going to be one again.....  Twice!!  Both my Brother and Sister have baby's on the way, AND they are both due around September.  So woohoo for doubling my Christmas shopping list :)  Not only that, but my Nephew Robert(sister Jenna's son) is turning in to a 6 year old wrestling machine.  Very proud of him!

In conclusion to this blog I want to leave with some perspective goals and possible next steps.  What I REALLY want more than anything is to get back in the Houston scene and take home that 145lb Legacy strap.  Even though I live in Austin now, Htown is still part of my heart and I love all my people there.  I talked to Mick and it's a no go for May but HOPEFULLY, I can take a step in that direction this summer on the July card.  Fingers crossed mate :)  So between now and then I've got to get a good solid W.  Hopefully Japan will work out.  I got an offer for March 31st, but it was a 170 lb fight(I don't even weigh 170), so I had to pass.  But they asked for me by name, so hopefully they'll have something for me this spring at my weight class. 

Thank you for taking the time to read. Comment or share if you'd like.  Before I sign off I want to publicly thank a few people for all that they did/do for me for this past fight and in general.  Thank you to Elton Wells for spending so much time with me and making me better, Tim Kennedy for beating me up and making me tougher and better, & everyone at Austin Mauy Thai for all the hard work.  I wanna thank Ragan and Lacey McDaniel for everything they do for me and for believing in me. Mike 'The Truth' Jackson for the awesome video he put together for me, thanks homie.  I wanna thank Bobby Peek and the Peek family for giving me a place to stay and the opportunity to come to Austin and make it happen up here, you were right Bobby.  And last but not least I wanna thank my Mother Lydia.  I can't tell you how many times and nights have gone by when I've had things go wrong & I've called her crying.  It doesn't matter if it was 3 in the afternoon or 3 in the morning, she always lended me her ear, never once judged me for my failures, and always given me positive reinforcement that at times was the only thing that kept me going.  It takes a special lady to mother a person like me, and put up with what it takes to be a self made fighter with no breaks, and she's done it superbly. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

It's Sunday evening January 22nd, 2012 and I'm sitting on my couch watching the 49er's play the Giants in the NFC Championship game.  I am winding down my training camp that I've been so dedicated to for the past 7 weeks.  Today was my last 'hard' day, and the rest of the week is all downhill.  The hard work is over and it's near time to go reap my reward. 

I have been involved in MMA for over 4 years now and I've been fighting professionally for about 3 1/2.  I have always been a hard worker.  That being said, I took it to another level with this training camp.  I can confidently say that I have put absolutely everything I have into this camp and into my preparation for this fight.  From waking up at 6:20 am most of the week for early training sessions to taking my necessary ice baths after our grueling Sunday 'fun' runs and taking beatings with 'the stick' twice a week. 'see below'

That alone will not make you a fighter, or even a better fighter.  I'm not saying sitting in tubs of ice and getting beat with a stick has made me any better of a martial artist.  But what it has done is taken my mind into a place that it needed to be, that it has never been.  At the high levels of MMA we are all talented. We are all great athletes with exceptional skill.  What separates the best from the rest is the ability  to remain mentally strong, especially when you are tired or hurt.  What those two practices have helped me with is accepting that things are not always going to go my way.  I'm going to get beat with a stick, and I'm going to have to sit in a tub full of ice, but I can't just get out or quit when it hurts or is uncomfortable.  I have to go deep inside my brain and rally that pain into something greater, into something that's going to set me apart.  This also works into getting beat up in sparring sessions by Tim Kennedy, and running miles upon miles of an unknown distance of interval sprints in a run.  I have not been allowed to slack, nor would I accept that as even possible.  I've gone the extra mile in everything I've done, every day.

Part of my drive has come not from my accomplishments and triumphs in the sport, but from failure.  I'm on a 2 fight losing streak and it does not sit well with me, at all.  It's unacceptable in my eyes.  I definitely have something to prove and when I get tired or I hurt or don't feel like continuing in training, I dig deep in my mind and find that fire. The fire to prove myself pushes me.  You've gotta have that fire. That will to win.  More importantly you have to put that fire into practice.  You can't just WANT it.  You have to prove you want it by putting in the work.  It's easy to say 'I wanna be the best', but much different to conduct yourself on a day to day basis that says and proves 'I will be the best'.  Live like a Champion! That's what it comes down to.

I've also found inspiration in 2 close friends and training partners.  Daniel Pineda and Andrew Craig, who both signed in the UFC in the last month.  Daniel just fought this past weekend and looked like the killer we all know he is and is now undefeated in the UFC.  Daniel's story is unique because just a couple years ago people had written him off after a 4 fight losing streak.  He never gave up though.  He came  back stronger than ever. He dedicated himself like never before and tore off 6 in a row all over great opponents.  He has gone from overlooked, to rising UFC star.  I find inspiration in him and am very proud of him as a friend.  Proud of both those guys equally.  No one deserves it more than they do, and I am determined in my mind to do everything I possibly can to be right there with them shortly.

It's fight week. A week where my mind changes and my intensity is at all time highs.  This week I'll go to school, do my work and continue to be excellent in all that I do. BUT I will be focused on fighting the whole time.  My weight is on point & I have done everything possible in this camp to earn victory.  Yoshiaki Takahashi has no idea the kind of animal he's about to step into that cage with.  I will be ruthless and I will go for the kill.  With all that being said, I hope you have enjoyed what's going on in my head right now. It's rather one tracked.  I want to leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the great Vince Lombardi.

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will."

This week I get my mind right, and Saturday night, I'll be in the winner's circle.

Friday, January 6, 2012

It's Friday night around 11:30 p.m. And instead of out and about like most normal single Men my age, here I am, computer in lap, lying in bed watching none other than MMA fights on HDNet. What else would I be doing?

I'm in the heart of my training camp. Where doing the right things and going that extra mile isn't even an option, it's just second nature. To tell you the truth, I didn't realize it was even Friday. Friday to me is no different than any other day because I'll be up bright and early tomorrow morning with my Coach working on my striking. With only 3 weeks left until showtime, I am in what I like to call 'tunnel vision mode'. Which means no distractions, all Bid'ness!

Sacrifice. That's what it's all about. I wish the normal person could see what I go through on a daily and weekly basis. When I started in MMA I had no idea it was going to take this much time and effort to succeed. I haven't missed a training session in 5 weeks. I haven't taken a day off since Christmas! Which was almost 2 weeks ago. Granted I only do 1 training session a day on Friday, Saturday and Sundays. But they are intense.

One of the biggest sacrifices I have to make is Diet. I LOVE food!! I have to sacrifice just a little more this time around because like most people I got a little EXTRA fat over the holidays. It's all good though, it feels good to eat clean and healthy. Here's an example of my daily diet as of right now with my routine.

630AM-Banana/Nutrigrain Bar
930AM-Protien Shake
1230PM-BrownRice/ChickenBreast/Broccoli
4PM-Protein Bar or meal replacement
8-830PM-Protein Shake



Sounds delicious right?? haha I know, I know :) But it fuels my body perfectly. I'm lean, mean, and ready to go. With every week, my energy levels are increasing and my stamina is getting longer and longer. I will be ready to go to battle on January 28th and come out on top. Even with all that dieting I still give myself a little cheat day. I am obsessed with Pho'. For those of you NOT in the know, Pho' is a Vietnamese Noodle soup. I have what I call Pho' Fridays and treat myself to a nice bowl at the end of every week. Today was no different, and I must say.....  It was Delicious!!!

My social life definitely takes a severe downturn when it comes to training camp. I'd say 100% of my time is spent A)In the gym. B)On my laptop, or C)Asleep. When you are a single guy, you have to REALLY want it, because there is no time for playing around. Socially I stay to myself during training camps. The less distraction the better the focus. If you don't go to the gym or the same grocery store as me, chances are we won't cross paths while I'm in training camp. I see the same core of guys on a daily basis, which really draws you closer to one another. There is a common goal in mind and you form bonds by punching each other in the face and pushing each other to give more when you don't think you can. I have a great group of guys pushing me directly led by Elton Wells and Tim Kennedy. Those guys are nothing but class and I am very blessed to have them in my corner.

That being said....  there is one reoccurring thing in fight camp. You are constantly around nothing but GUYS!!!! Seriously. I have only talked to one single girl(in person) in the past week other than my Mother, and that's because she works the front at the gym. Which really sucks because I LOVE girls. But sorry ladies, you just don't get it. Girls LOVE going out, LOVE having fun, LOVE the excitement of the fights and the attention that comes along with it. But they don't understand the sacrifice. They don't understand that you CAN'T go for ice cream, not even a little bit. You can't have even JUST ONE drink. They don't get why on that Friday night you don't want to go out because you've trained 25 hrs already this week and have to wake up early for more tomorrow morning. During training camp I'm 'boring' to them. So therefore I just steer clear, because the less distraction, the better. I know that there are those girls who do get it, and are committed to their Men and what they do, but they are few and far between. And I sure as hell haven't found it yet.

If there is one thing I miss during training camp. It's being around pretty girls that make me smile and smell good. I'm pretty excited for that to happen again. Who knows, maybe one day I'll even be able to incorporate the 2 together. Always the Optimist :)

With all of that being said, I would not change my decisions. I choose to do what I do because I love it. 2012 is starting out on a great note and I have plenty of exciting and fulfilling endeavors coming my way in the near future. I'm starting college in a week and a half. I'm fighting against the Japanese in 3 weeks and WHEN I win, I'm pretty sure I'm going to Japan to fight(check the bucket list), and that's just the beginning. The sky is the limit and as long as I keep my faith and devote myself 100% to what I do in a good cause, I'm positive that life will continue to bless me.